Memory is overrated. Many of us live in a fantasy that we need to remember something in order for it to matter. It makes sense that we want this; it makes us feel more in control. What does it mean for us if things we don't remember matter? It is a disquieting reality. Suddenly we know a lot less and that can make us feel at sea. The good news is we are our memories. So while we may not remember specifics and details about what happened in our childhoods, we can understand the emotional impact because we live it everyday. The parts of ourselves that feel out of our control- the part that wakes up at 3 am and can't stop thinking about what we did wrong, the part that eats more and faster than we need to, the part that looks through our partner's phone, the part that feels anxious that someone is mad at us- these are our memories transposed on the present. Of course it would be helpful to remember where these feelings came from, but to focus on that may be a way for us to avoid feeling how much these experiences upset us. We all know when we are in states that feel like we are still children- this might be all we need to know. Our job, alone and with others, is to take care of these child parts of ourselves as if they were our own children. In essence, they are.
5 Comments
1/9/2018 05:22:20 pm
Memories are the best things we can have while growing old. We may not be rich, but if we had a precious moments while we were young and were able to maximize what those days have to offer, it's a sure thing there will be great memories to stay with us. That is why we feel sad whenever there is an old person who is starting to lose her memory. That could be the saddest thing that will happen, and I am hoping that it will not happen to me.
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3/25/2017 04:39:44 am
Wow! this post is really amazing and I appreciate the work
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5/19/2017 03:05:07 pm
Pleased to read the post, it's only a psychotherapist who can write such an informative stuff for the readers who have no understanding of his feelings and sentiments. Very informative article thanks for sharing it.
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AuthorI am a psychotherapist in private practice in Manhattan and Brooklyn Archives
December 2015
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