Mindfulness is all the rage. (Yes, there is a joke in there.) But what is the point and how does it really help? Recently I was instructed to stop using the term mindfulness and instead, call it ‘Non-Judgmental Awareness.’ While it doesn’t roll swiftly off the tongue, the term is more descriptive of the action. The point is that we need to be able to create space between our thoughts and feelings and our judgment of our thoughts and feelings. While many of us are fearful of our feelings, the real culprit is our judgment. The rub is that if we don’t judge ourselves, we often don’t know what to do with our feelings, and because we never learned how to sit with them, we assume we can’t. Well, you can. Emotions come and go relatively quickly if we don’t judge them. If we judge them, they can grip us for hours, days, even a lifetime. I don’t mean to make this sound easy because it is probably the hardest task of our lifetime. But it is very simple. Seemingly impossible, but simple. Just watch your judgment, and when you become aware of it, try putting your hand on your heart and give yourself a little warmth instead. Being human isn’t easy, and it never was, and honestly it probably isn’t supposed to be. As Buddhist teachers like to joke, being present with your feelings will make you feel better. It will make you feel everything, better.
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AuthorI am a psychotherapist in private practice in Manhattan and Brooklyn Archives
December 2015
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